Today my little Saso turns three, so in honor of her birthday I thought I would talk about her birth. Men, the exit is to the left, watch your step and no trampling as you leave the blog! /laugh
I should start by saying everything about Seraphyn has been a surprise to me. In the first place I shouldn’t have been able to conceive another child after Tucker. (For those of you who don’t know my older two kids are actually my step-kids, I’ve just known them since they were born and so never think of them that way. They are just mine. But for birthing purposes I’ve only had two kids.) Anyhow, conceiving Tucker was one of the most humiliating times of my life. I was poked, prodded, asked horrible questions (how would you like to tell a doctor and two nurses how often and in what position you favor having sex?) and just generally made to hate the entire process. After I was pregnant I swore I would never go through that again. On the upside though carrying and birthing Tucker was an amazing miracle. I never got sick, felt all full of energy, and although I had a 46 hour labor I had him naturally. Well, OK they gave me pitocin because he was taking so freaking long, but otherwise I was medication free!
So here I was with my tiny, precious, wonderful son, and two amazing, beautiful, wonderful bonus children. I was perfectly happy, content, our family was fitting together nicely, I was contemplating going back to work, I lost a bunch of weight and I sold or gave away all my baby things. I was a little lonely when the kids all left to go to their other parents homes though, so I bought a little dog to take with me and keep me company... and spoil completely rotten. Every once in a while I would have the vague thought that I would love to have a baby with my new spouse, but that would pass and life was perfect!! Have I ever told you I’m 100% sure that Deity has a sense of humor? Or irony anyway! /laugh
This photo was taken right before we found out I was pregnant. Its one of my favorites.
So there I was in this perfect place…and I get the flu. It was a horrible flu!! It lasted for almost two weeks, so I went to Demian and told him I thought I might need to go to the doctor and get a checkup because I couldn’t get rid of this bug. He gave me an odd look and said hun are you pregnant? Of course I burst out laughing. What a silly question! No no I protested, you know that can’t be possible. Uh huh he says and looks at me a long time, how about I go get a test just in case? And, as usual, he was right.
Many things were different about this pregnancy. I was sick for about 7 months 24/7. I lived exclusively on saltines and mint tea. And to this day I can’t even stand the smell of mint tea! Seri was also a kicker. Where Tucker had lain quietly and softly and gently nudged me from time to time, Seri was a nonstop party girl! On the upside though I didn’t gain any weight!
Demian and I decided to take a birth class because it had been a while since our last birth experiences. We entered the room with 10 other couples and immediately felt old...OMG! All these tiny 20 year old chickies with 3 page birth plans and 2 bags of crap to take to the hospital made us laugh and feel every year of our 35. I knew nothing ever goes the way you plan it in a birth, and the longest Demian had spent in a birth room was15 minutes...he barely had time to get the camera out let alone books and CDs and snacks! Our birth plan was simple…stay at home as long as possible, have Samantha and my bestie Jenny there, avoid induction and avoid as much medication as possible. I figured I wouldn’t insist on no pain medication this time if I felt I was getting too out of it as Samantha would be there.
And as Deity has proven so many times, she had her own plan. First off I got preeclampsia , so I was forced in to an induction. As I feared (and happens to many induced women) my body told the drugs to screw off and my labor went nowhere fast. Also as happens many times with induction the baby started to suffer a lot of strain, and so in to a c-section I went (and boy howdy you get good drugs after c-section!). Oh and lastly, Samantha made it to the hospital just in time to see me wheeled in to surgery. She and Jenny missed the entire birth.
I was devastated. I hadn’t wanted that much! I didn’t plan a water birth, I didn’t demand a mid-wife, I didn’t have 5 CDs of ocean sounds or dolphin poo incense or special teas…I just wanted to have my baby in her own time with my family (Jenny is family) around me. This experience made me get more involved with birth rights here in my home state. Birth-Freedom-for-Oregon
These gorgeous pictures of my little girl were taken by her Grandpa Dan. He is a semi-professional photographer and brought all his things to our home to get the perfect shots of his newest grandchild.
Of course the minute I saw my baby clearly (that would be the next day as the first day I was too busy enjoying my morphine!) I forgot all about the birth experience and marveled at the fact that my body had produced this perfect little being, given to me to cherish for a short time by Deity herself. We named her Seraphyn Celestia which means heavenly angel. And while as Tucker says most days she’s less angel and more devil, we love her dearly.
Today my heavenly angel is three years old, and I cannot imagine life without her. She came in to our family and filled a little Seri shaped hole we didn’t even know was there. I don’t know why she and Deity chose us to be her parents, I’m just eternally grateful that they did.